Common Things That Emotionally Strong People Do Well
There are many parts to mental strength and all are needed if we are to be successful and happy. The one particular area of mental strength that has the greatest impact is that of emotional strength. But what exactly are emotions, and how can we improve our emotional strength?
… emotions ……drive us to behave …….motivate us to behave ….
Emotions cause us to feel and then behave in a particular way. The emotions we experience at the thought of delivering ‘that speech’ or attending ‘that job interview’ or meeting ‘that person’ drive us to feel and behave in a particular way.
Emotions are our greatest motivators. Unfortunately, they can sometimes motivate us to behave in a way we would rather not.
So what are the qualities of people who have strong emotional strength and how can we learn from them?
- They don’t seek out attention – People who have strong emotional strength are at one with themselves; they don’t constantly go seeking attention. They have an understanding of their value and self-worth; they are comfortable with who they are and what they represent to the world. In therapy terms we talk of being in one of two states –
- ILOC being at one being comfortable that you have all the answers within.
- ELOC External Locus control consistently looking external to themselves for answers
- They are resilient – People who have strong emotional strength don’t let others bring them down; they don’t worry about what others think about them. They are happy to get on with life their way, and are quick to bounce back from anything that is out of the ordinary. They focus on the now and tend to be a ‘glass half full’ person.
being confident with your values and your beliefs in your model of the world.
- They are happy doing their own thing – People who have strong emotional strength are not unnerved by others throwing them a ‘curve ball’ – telling them, ‘Well! That won’t work!’ and, ‘This won’t happen!’ They are happy with what they are doing and how they are doing it, being confident they can achieve it.
- They believe in themselves – People who have strong emotional strength have robust self-belief; a ‘can do’ attitude: ‘I can do this’ and ‘How can I make it happen?’ They have an acceptance of themselves, a good level of self-worth and are never afraid to be themselves. They are proud of who and what they present to the world.
- They are happy to say ‘No!’ – People who have strong emotional strength demonstrates great self-belief, self-control and an understanding that it is acceptable to be in control of what you want to do. Saying ‘No’ demonstrates to others that you are in control and don’t have a problem asserting yourself.
- They don’t feel the need to fit in – The stronger you are emotionally, the more independent and at one with yourself you are. You don’t feel the need to ‘fit in’ because you fit in where it matters to you – with your values and your beliefs in your model of the world. Wanting to fit in doesn’t say much more than “I’m afraid to be myself.’
… nothing is real – it’s just the way we choose to see it………..
- They know that that happiness is a choice – People who have strong emotional strength understand the mind / body connection and the power their brains have over the way they run their lives. They understand that emotions are simply reactions to situations and events; that emotions are the way we interpret our reality and nothing is real – it’s just the way we choose to see it. Understanding that our reality is created by us looking at something, ‘pattern matching’, and then telling ourselves, ‘Ah!! It’s time to feel happy/sad/worried/….’ means that emotionally strong people can embrace the situation and control it.
So where do you fit in with all this?
In reality emotions are just feelings created by thoughts. How you feel is a choice. You choose the way you react to that fear of …. , that worry of…. , that dread of xxx And all those thoughts, feelings and emotions that are not serving you can all be re-framed with the help of
a good therapist
some useful techniques
asking the right questions.
In Cognitive Hypnotherapy the question is the answer! It’s just a case of finding where to knock!
So where are you on this journey to being strong gaining strong emotional strength if you would like help on your Journey please get in touch. We “you and I working as one” I am sure we can help you get there”