How to feel good about Mother’s day even when your head is screaming NO!
SO its Mothering Sunday on 31st of March for some this may well be a day of great family celebrations for others maybe not so much. For some Mother’s day may well bring sadness, challenging thoughts and almost a feeling of well I do need to conform but do I really want to?
Mother’s day brings different emotions for everyone. Maybe it’s a day to give back, where you can say a thankyou for all the time effort and money invested in you and just return the love.
But for some maybe their relationship with their mother wasn’t great. Maybe their childhood was filled with over powering mothers, and a feeling of being out of control and not really being me.
So what’s the best way to help ourselves to manage mother’s day blues ,you know that feeling when you know the day is looming but you are dreading it, would rather it had been and gone ,and you can feel that Knot in your stomach every time you walk past the flowers and cards in the supermarket.
So what are some ideas of how to cope when mother’s day is not for you?
A )Be honest with yourself .Reflect on why Mother’s day may not feel that good for you. If it was that you remember having bad experiences as a child, that was then and now is now .It helps if you can forget the past and try and live in the present/future (Not always easy but a good way to feel better about things.
B) Its ok not to celebrate the day at all if that helps you. Remember mother’s day was created as a time of celebration if it causes you pain and anguish to even think about celebrating it, then if its possible don’t. That’s sinking feeling in your tummy that pang of guilt are all signs from your unconscious (gut instinct) telling you to run. If by not celebrating it removes the emotions and the feelings then you have permission.
C) If you do have to spend some time with your mother but it has been a complex relationship in the past, set boundaries. Limit the amount of time you need to put yourself through this .Maybe meet at a neutral space away from our home so you don’t get wrapped up in all the pressure you may feel
D) If for whatever reason mum isn’t around in your life then you could still incorporate a ritual into the day. Visit her grave write her a letter discussing all the reasons why you felt the way you do and to gain closure on things that have haunted you from your past. Whatever ritual works for you build that into the day.That will help you.
E) Develop a mind-set of empowerment. Whatever happened in the past was in the past. You are now probably older and wiser and the thoughts /feelings you hold from back then are really not helping you in your life today. So move on, spend the day with people you love, people who do make you feel good about you and help you grow as a person.
F) If you do really struggle with the moving on bit, this is something that Cognitive hypnotherapy can really help with .there are a lot of techniques that can help you let go of the past, release and remove emotions connected with the past and just allow you to go on and be the best possible you.To be able to enjoy mother’s day with the people you love with a level of acceptance, learning to love you and just be the best version of you.
If you find dealing with your feelings over Mothers day why not get in touch today and find out how I can help